A time to talk

I remember a conversation with a friend years ago regarding how unproductive it is to bombard anyone with ‘phone calls or messages. We all know that it will show up on their register and if they want to, they will call us back.

If then, after a prudent amount of time we haven’t had a reply, by all means follow up, politely. It can be hard to contain ourselves to wait however, more so when we think the message has been seen.

For some reason we’ve come to think that whenever we have something to say it is the other person’s obligation to provide an immediate response; but this isn’t logical but rather egotistical and unreasonable. Why should others drop whatever they’re doing just to reply to us?

We then frequently jump to conclusions as to the lack of response and if we’re coming from a negative or stressful state of mind, it’s more than likely we’ll imagine a whole host of motives that are nowhere near the other person’s reality, but will drive us crazy in the thought process.

Just last week I passed on a contact to a friend who could possibly gain a client who needed their specialised services.  When they called and couldn’t get through they then proceeded to ring another eight times. Unfortunately, what could have been a very lucrative opportunity and a new door to many more new contacts was lost before it even got going.

Similarly, not long ago a psychologist wanted to come on the show to talk about ‘phone rage and how impatient people become if they don’t get immediate replies and how it can affect our mental health and cause incalculable anxiety and stress. He messaged me one afternoon and as I hadn’t replied by 9.27am the next morning I was also bombarded with follow-up messages, each one more desperate and self-promoting than the one before.

I receive many messages and when I get a moment to reply to them, I do so in order. Nevertheless, sensing his anxiety, I took a moment to send a short note to explain that I hadn’t had the opportunity to read anything, but that I would as soon as I got a chance.

More messages came from him anyway explaining why I should find the time for him. I then felt it necessary to tell him that I had found his constant messages more than a little stressful which is more than a little ironic don’t you think?

We do need to value ourselves and our time. We also need to appreciate the value of other people’s time. If someone takes our call or replies to a message they are giving us their time and we should appreciate this fact and be thankful that they are willing to dedicate some of it to us, if and when they can.

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Nicole King’s opinions are her own and are not necessarily representative of those of the publishers, advertisers or sponsors.