Dating isn’t easy at the best of times, without the several different challenges that come with dating with a mental health disorder.
The big one, though, and I mean it’s the big question we ask ourselves before we even go on that first date, well I do! ‘When do I tell him I have bipolar ?!?!’
I mean, when is the right time to drop the bombshell? Is there even a right time? Is there a set timeline? Is it on the 4th date, is it when things are beginning to get serious…? Do I just tell him casually over dinner? Do I make a big announcement?
I don’t think there is a manual or “the right way” or “right time” to tell someone, it has to be when you feel comfortable enough to disclose something so personal to you, the timing is up to you, it’s not about feeling ashamed, and its normal to worry what their reaction may be. The caution is understandable. We watch movies & series that show us dating someone with a mental health disorder to be “crazy”, “psycho“, “undatable”, “unpredictable”… the list could go on!
With all that said I believe the right person, it should go without saying, will accept you for who you are and the diagnosis you come with. If a person criticizes your condition or refuses to understand it, needless to say, you need to get rid! They are not the one for you! But you know what…! Better you tell them early on and find out their reaction than during a bad episode and then having to deal with that on top of things.
But actually tell them… it’s important. Because eventually, if things do work out for you both you will need to have a conversation about what you might need from them or what they might need to expect from you. If they don’t want to date you because they can’t handle it, that’s fine, but it’s unfair on both of you if they are forced to make that decision while you are ill.
But whatever you do… don’t do what I did and when he did try to talk to me about it, tell him to eff off and then wonder why he did, in fact, eff off!! Story of Ms Bipolars life…
Let me know your thoughts or if you have anything you would like to add!
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Ms Bipolar x