This week I was robbed!

THIS week’s article has been written by a guest; a mini grumpy in the making, a ‘grumpette’ if you will. Please welcome my daughter, Dr S :

This week I was robbed. No not in the way you might think. But by Starbucks. They even asked me my name before they robbed me. Most untraditional (I work with offenders, I should know). So, Monday I bounced into Starbucks at Waterloo station in London, and asked for a Soya Latte.

Did I want it to be tall, grande or venti the ‘barista’ (a whole other article) asked; this is a language reserved for Starbucks just to make the process more convoluted and challenging.

Let’s be clear, I need coffee. This means engaging my brain (pre-caffeine) is a challenge, so it seems unfair to introduce new words other than small, medium or large at this point, but alas, they do.

Then, the ‘barista’ tells me the price of this ‘grande’ (medium to the rest of the world), latte – with its not so special milk – is £3.90. Hang on, let me just repeat this. THREE POUNDS, NINETY. Almost £4! Now, I drink coffee a lot. And don’t get me wrong, I am partial to a fancy pants, whirly twirly, coloured, unprounceable, instagrammable coffee like the best of us, BUT, this is not what a ‘grande’ soya latte is. It’s BASIC. So why are you charging me the same price as a taxi from where I live to my nearest train station? I’ll tell you why; because they can! Because I smiled as he said ‘that will be £3.90 please’ and paid it.

Because I didn’t say a word, and instead just messaged Big Grumpy and moaned. To be clear, Starbucks isn’t the only coffee shop robbing people, but I am quite sure every time I go into this establishment the price is creeping up for no valid reason. AND, it seems I am penalised for my lactose intolerance allergy (an early gift from my Dad) by having to pay extra for soya milk.

I’ll just also have a quick moan about people who don’t indicate while I am here. Yes I am a psychologist, but contrary to popular belief, I am not a mind-reader! You are a hazard on the road!

Please note, both these moans are particularly relevant following my recent trip to visit Big Grumpy in Spain, since coffee is one euro at our local venta (Starbucks take note) and no-one ever indicates!