Meet Leapy’s dream woman…

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Meet Leapy's dream girl... Photo Credit: Shutterstock

DREAMS are funny things.

Not generally being one who experiences nightmares (unless I’ve had a good old blue cheese late night overdose!) I usually drift off looking forward to what the next few hours of La La land has to offer.

Sometimes I fly. What a buzz that can be. Occasionally I fall gloriously in love. I often find myself negotiating narrow ledges and falling from a great height.

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In fact, at one time this dream was so frequent that now and again I would allow myself to actually hit the ground, just to see what happened (presumably nothing, as I was still lying in bed unscathed the following morning!).

I’ve had tea with the Queen, talked my way out of some serious trouble and travelled in a spaceship.

Well folks all these nocturnal journeys pale in the light of the trip I took the other night. In an experience that was beyond my wildest dreams, (geddit!)

I dreamed I was having an illicit affair with Theresa May! Yeah yeah, I know, I lied about the nightmares right!?

Well, be that as it may, there I was, in a packed hall, trying to blend into the background while she addressed the party conference.

After the meeting we both slipped off to the hotel and……. no no, actually I didn’t – it wasn’t that much of a nightmare!

To be honest I think the problem was me rising to the occasion. In the circumstances, pretty understandable. Probably took a leaf out of her book, she hasn’t managed to rise to the occasion since she was elected!

The point here is that a couple of Viagras would have got me out of trouble. No pill on earth will save her if Brexit goes (even more) pear shaped. Come back Nigel, all is forgiven. Dream on Leapy, dream on.

What about that spoiled brat Serena Williams with her unforgivable, wholly petulant outburst at the US Open last week?

This privileged individual, who is actually living the dream, to me showed her true colours when she screamed abuse at the umpire who had quite rightly pulled her up for receiving on court coaching and smashing her racket.

She continued her vitriolic hatred at this (absolutely correct) court official by calling him a liar, a thief and then accusing him of sexism. Naturally this awful woman was losing her match at the time!

Who knows what unfair disadvantage this outburst created for her unfortunate opponent, whose quiet dignity and to my mind nerves of steel, still enabled her to go on and win the title? (there is a God!) ‘It wasn’t fair, I was standing up for women’s rights,’ bleated the Williams woman to the press the following day.

Well I’ll tell you something girls, females like this are the enemy in your midst, especially those who have become multi-millionaires by simply being female and knocking a ball over a net.

Oh, and by the way, this thoroughly nasty piece of work, also accused the artist who depicted her in a brilliant caricature the following day, of being a racist! Why am I not surprised!?

Keep the faith

Love Leapy.   l

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Leapy Lee’s opinions are his own and are not necessarily representative of those of the publishers, advertisers or sponsors.

 

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