Grunters are a real turn-off…

SOMETHING really must be done about those appalling grunters at Wimbledon.

Frankly, the orgasmic screams from the women and the Neanderthal grunts of the men are really starting to get to me.

I mean what on earth is it all about? I have always been a tennis fan. In the good old days (mine that is) when I could get on Centre Court and into the bar, I didn’t miss a single day of this wonderful competition.

At no time during that period do I recall the likes of Chris Evett, Billie- Jean King, Jimmy Connors or any of those wonderful past champions, screaming like banshees or imitating the mating call of chimpanzees to achieve a successful outcome.

What do these spoiled, extremely fortunate people think when they see recordings of their matches and hear themselves uttering these primitive ejaculations? Personally, I would be extremely embarrassed; some of their utterings almost seem like too much information – if you get my drift!

I saw an article the other day from someone who had recently watched a number of players practising, particularly Sharapova – to my mind one of the worst offenders. This person reported that there was no sign of the noise projected during their actual matches.

By this token it must imply the whole phenomenon is a part of the player’s strategy and completely intentional. In this case the noise limiters must be brought into play and anything over an agreed level penalised by loss of points or a number of warnings that could culminate in fines or even disqualification.

Come on, you tennis authorities, show some teeth so this ol’ boy can turn the sound back on and enjoy the commentary, without suffering what sounds for all the world like a backing track of London Zoo!

I know Cameron’s stand in the recent EU presidential elections has just about been done to death, but can anyone tell me who the alternate candidates were? As far as I can discover there was actually no one else to vote for. I dunno, perhaps it’s me. I’ve no doubt somebody will write in and enlighten me!

As far as I’m concerned, disgraced footballing animal Suarez should have been banned for life for his recent biting incident. It was his third offence and it should be without question three bites and you’re out. But he won’t be, will he. No, I’m afraid in the world of the beautiful game, money speaks far louder than words – as certain wealthy Qataris have also discovered!

And that’s about it. Unfortunately, lost another friend this week. Estelle Hatt, long-time resident of Mallorca and one of life’s true characters, passed on. RIP Estelle. Sadly missed.

Thanks for all your mail. Love the feedback. I can take it.

Have a good week and, whatever ya, do always keep the faith.

Love Leapy  leapylee2002@gmail.com