By Euro Weekly News Media • Published: 15 Mar 2013 • 9:40
KITCHEN GODDESS: That I am not
Life is too short to grate carrots, a friend once told me and I would tend to agree. It is not an entirely joyful task and, if you’re as clumsy as I am, you will probably end up grating some of your knuckles, too. In fact, the less time I have to spend in the kitchen the better – and safer. The only problem with this is that I do like to eat good, healthy food and my resources do not stretch to employing a cook.
So finding out that Jamie Oliver, celebrity chef and patron saint of school lunches, had written a book called 15 Minute Meals was a veritable ‘Eureka’ moment. Admittedly, I was a little sceptical since I can barely lay the table in 15 minutes, but who was I to argue with the Guru of Gastronomy.
Said book in hand, sleeves rolled up but apron sidestepped (since tying the knot at the back would eat into the all-important cooking time), I was ready to undertake my first recipe: ‘Golden Chicken, braised greens and potato gratin’. The first line of instructions read – finely slice the potatoes in the processor. Doh! Failed at the first hurdle. My kitchen is fairly antiquated – I barely use a blender let alone own a food processor. Still, I persevered. The family and some relatives were gathered and the anticipation was palpable.
Twenty minutes later I was still slicing and chopping, the kids complaining of rumbling tummies and I hadn’t even laid the table. Maybe Jamie recommends that everyone tucks into the pots and pans directly armed merely with a fork? Communal dining, if you will.
A further 10 minutes later, I had ‘flattened’ the chicken with a rolling pin as instructed, fried, drained, poured and grilled various elements of the meal. Oh, and wilted the spinach, something I can relate to since I was feeling a bit wilted myself at this stage.
Some 40 minutes later, we finally sat down to what is in essence a pretty decent meal. A guest assures me that he has witnessed the man himself complete a recipe from the book in the allocated 15 minutes, which doesn’t make me feel a whole lot better about my cooking prowess. Still, I am secretly pleased that I didn’t opt for the 30 Minute Meal edition, as I was tempted to. I would still be in the kitchen now.
I can only conclude one of two things: either Jamie has superpowers or I am painfully slow. But then, Jamie probably has an army of washer-uppers and cleaners following his every step, while my kitchen looked as if a troupe of clowns had thrown a food fight, emptied all the cupboards and upended most drawers by the time I had stopped the clock.
Having dabbled in gastronomy with questionable results I think it best for me to go back to basics. You can’t beat an egg, as a wise man once said, and since an avocado is a nutritionally complete meal in itself, why complicate life? Even my long suffering children assure me just how much they love beans on toast, with a helping of pre-cut carrot sticks on the side, of course. foo
Share this story
Subscribe to our Euro Weekly News alerts to get the latest stories into your inbox!
By signing up, you will create a Euro Weekly News account if you don't already have one. Review our Privacy Policy for more information about our privacy practices.
Share your story with us by emailing newsdesk@euroweeklynews.com, by calling +34 951 38 61 61 or by messaging our Facebook page www.facebook.com/EuroWeeklyNews
By signing up, you will create a Euro Weekly News account if you don’t already have one. Review our Privacy Policy for more information about our privacy practices.
Download our media pack in either English or Spanish.