Chit-chat not cheat-chat

ONE of the most charming yet misunderstood words in the English language is the term ‘banter.’

The reason for the confusion is because it appears to be a peculiarly Irish trait.

It is the Blarney; they kiss the Blarney stone.

In common with those of other nations the Irish have their quirks and to banter is one of them.

It is often confused with flirting but in fact there is more than a subtle difference between the two terms. Flirting is a harmless preoccupation that knows no national barriers.

The French and Italians are notorious skirt-chasers.

Why not? Flirting lightens the loads we carry each day.

Bantering is chit-chat not cheat-chat. I often have to explain, especially to Europeans, the difference between bantering and flirting.

Flirting is kissin’ cousin to flattery; it is to weave one’s words when there is an ulterior motive best left to the imagination in a family newspaper.

Bantering bridges the age gap. As an example the jovial bus driver when pulling the leg of an 11-year old schoolgirl might say: ‘My, you’re a pretty girl. I bet you have lots of boyfriends.’

This will of course cause her to blush but that is half the fun of bantering.

It is to gently tease without malice.

His next target might be an elderly lady struggling to climb on board: ‘Where’s your mum, young lady. Doesn’t she usually help you?’

Banter is aimed at lifting the spirits; it is a friendly verbal handshake. ‘What’s a bad girl like you doing in a nice place like this?’ It is never intended to cause offence though a little embarrassment is occasionally experienced by the uninitiated. It can be taken as flirting but so can a wink or doffed cap.

It is humour laced with intended misinterpretation.

When introducing himself to a couple of elegant ladies he might say: ‘my, two loose women on the town,’ followed by, ‘I mean of course two women on the loose.’ Ruffled feathers are smoothly stroked and the ice is broken. Far superior to, ‘May I introduce myself; my name is Archibald.’

Bantering is an informality that crosses the genders. Novices need to learn that bantering is just another way of recognising that a stranger is just a friend you have yet to meet.

It bridges the discomfit of formal introduction. Yes, the Irish are splendid at gentle teasing banter.

For this reason the most popular radio and television presenters are drawn from the Emerald Isle; Gay Byrne, Eamonn Andrews, Dave Allan, Patrick Kelly, Terry Wogan and others of silken tongue.

Perhaps the Irish connection is the reason why the Maritime City of Liverpool is renowned for its humour. Despite being a small city most of Britain’s zaniest comedians have hailed from there.

The place is often described as the Eastside of Dublin or Murphyside but that of course isn’t true, it is banter.