IF you could see inside my head, you’d find some profoundly insightful thoughts about the rise of the far right in European politics. Before you got there, though, you’d find the following: Donald Trump’s recent edict that White House female employees “dress like women”.
Now Trump’s always made it clear he judges women by their looks. Being interviewed by a female journalist was fine, he once said, “as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass” - no ifs or butts about it! When he bought the Miss USA beauty pageant in 1997, he vowed to get “the bathing suits to be smaller and the heels higher”.
High heels, low-cut tops, trousers, dresses: all have a place in a woman's wardrobe. But they’re fashion, not weapons. They should never be used as such by someone pontificating about what others must wear. Let’s comfort ourselves imagining The Donald himself in a 'smaller' swimsuit with even ‘higher' heels. Ugh!
And if that weren’t enough, we women will soon be instructed by the media how to ‘tackle' our holiday wardrobe. How hard can it be to sling bikinis, shorts, T-shirts, dresses into a suitcase? No 'tackling' required. Similarly, when 'tackling' the latest fashions, the best plan of action is: try on item. If it suits, wear it, if it doesn't, don't. Nothing that’s nipped in or sticky-out or hard to sit down in or walk in. Problem solved. No further 'tackling' required.
(All the above fashion items available from my online store: www.wesawyoucoming.com. And for an additional discount, please quote code: ONEBORNEVERYMINUTE.)
Are we women so daft as to believe all this fashion guff? Hemlines up, hemlines down; walk about in rags showing our underwear and some idiot somewhere will tell us "it's the latest trend!" and we fall for it every three months. Talk about Emperor’s clothes.
We’ve had slip dresses, now it’s pajamas. Problem is, they still look like pajamas whatever they’re made of or whatever they cost, and would be considered best accessorised with a straitjacket in the village where I grew up.
Nora Johnson’s psychological/suspense crime thrillers ‘No Way Back’, ‘Landscape of Lies’, ‘Retribution’, ‘Soul Stealer’, ‘The De Clerambault Code’ (www.nora-johnson.net) available from Amazon in paperback/eBook (€0.99;£0.99) and iBookstore.All profits to Costa del Sol Cudeca cancer charity.