The most ridiculous thing

By Mike Senker Friday, 14 July 2017 18:37 0

I AM always asked, ‘How can you be so grumpy all the time?’

And the answer is, ‘I’m not.’ I never wake up in a bad mood. I never wake up depressed. But, thanks to so many dumb ass things I’m presented with every day, it’s hard to not get grumpy on a regular basis.

It’s little things that set me off like the idiot that has parked on the pavement outside our apartment when there are parking spaces all over the place.

Or the car that is double parked in the middle of the road because he can’t be arsed to park a few yards down the road and WALK!!

Then of course there are the most ridiculous things that happen. Mrs S is the proud owner of a new phone.

So we decided that it needed a new case so to protect it. Simple job right?

Just go and buy one. Oh no.

We were in Miramar shopping centre near us which must have 10 phone shops in there selling phones and accessories and we went to them all and couldn’t find the type of cover she wanted.

Our final stop was Carrefour which, by the way, is one of my favourite shops. Low and behold - there it was - the perfect cover for her phone.

All we needed to do was take it out of the box and double check it was sturdy enough to protect her means of communication which, by the way, cost more than my first car!

Not only was the box sealed at both ends, it also had a thick white plastic band, the type you see round boxes sent for worldwide shipping. I took it to the assistant who was tiddling about on his computer and asked him if he could open the box so I could see the case properly.

‘No sorry, we aren’t allowed to open the box.’ ‘Why?’ I asked. ‘Company policy,’ came the reply. ‘Are you nuts? How do I check it’s what I want?’ ‘Well, there is a picture on the front.’

Then came the most incredibly stupid thing I’ve heard in ages. ‘If it’s not right you have 14 days to return it.’ ‘WHAT? I have to buy it, take it home, and open it, then if I don’t like it I bring it back?’

‘Well, you don’t have to take it home. You can open it on the other side of the till after you have paid then return it.’

So, should I buy scissors or a knife too so I can cut through the security band?

By now I’ve lost it and am demanding to see a manager and the assistant then realises how stupid the conversation is and picking up scissors, cuts the band, opens the box, takes out the cover and I look at it and say, ‘Fine, it’s the one we want. Thank you.’ He looks at me. I look at him and he says, ‘I’m sorry, it’s company policy and I know it’s ridiculous.’

At last common sense prevailed and the purchase was completed. So that’s how I become grumpy!

What makes you grumpy?

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