A mountain of odd socks

By Mike Senker Monday, 10 July 2017 16:49 0

I’M lying in bed and all of a sudden I hear that dreaded noise.

It’s the single tone buzz that tells you that there is one serious bad ass mozzie flying round the room. I wave my arms about like a nutter then there is silence.

I reach out and get the mozzie spray that I keep next to the bed. I press the nozzle to protect myself from this kamikaze killer... and nothing!

I shake the container - there is plenty in there - I press again - still nada. I don’t like waste and I certainly don’t like wasting stuff that I’ve paid for.

The case in question this week is products that come in spray form. Either the old-fashioned aerosol type or the newer environmentally friendly pump sprays.

Three times this week I’ve had one sell me short. The mozzie spray was the first, the second was some glass cleaner - this was even worse as I could actually see, in the clear container, how much was left.

It didn’t matter how many times I pulled the trigger - not a dribble.

The third was a pump action sun cream which just packed up. This one at least I could unscrew and pour it out. So, as usual, I ask the question - is it only me?

I’ve had expensive eau de toilette atomizers do it and if you have half a bottle of something left do you take it back to the shop?

Well, of course, you can’t because you could have had it for a few months. So you have to chuck it out.

There is one mystery in life which I have been trying to solve for years and to this day have got no nearer to solving this problem. Now I know this happens to every man I know and, I bet, to millions I don’t. So here’s the question.

WHERE DO ALL THE ODD SOCKS GO???

I definitely wear two socks and, for sure, I put two into the laundry basket and they are then transferred to the washing machine. And that’s when it happens. One or two disappear into sock land.

Somewhere in the world there must be a mountain of odd socks as high as Everest. Where do they go?

There was actually a study done which revealed that the average man loses15 socks a year leaving them with loads of mismatches. So, with the average Brit living to 81 it means you lose 1,215 socks over a lifetime costing you about €3,000.

By the way, that’s 84 million odd socks just in the UK and with all these statistics and money spent - guess what - no-one came up with an answer.

Makes you wonder doesn’t it?

The silly season is approaching.

The holidaymakers will arrive and nothing will be the same till mid-September.

There will be loads of people about and most will be having a fun time with the family but some will act like idiots.

But then, of course, that gives me plenty to be grumpy about!

Email me mikesenker@gmail.com.

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