All this waits at the end of my rainbow

TRENDY DAD: Jeremy Corbyn (left) and Glastonbury organiser Michael Eavis. TRENDY DAD: Jeremy Corbyn (left) and Glastonbury organiser Michael Eavis.

HI kids, This is your trendy Dad telling you how much I love you and how much I enjoyed speaking to you all at my recent appearance at Glastonbury.

You will not be aware of it, but this was a realisation of my dream back in the 60’s when, much to my chagrin, my aspirations toward Guru’ism fell on totally deaf ears.

Thank you, all my children.

Right, on to more important issues.

This year, or hopefully next, I have decided to enter for the Father of the Year awards.

When the time comes, I hope, when you hear of all the wonderful surprises I have lined up, you will have no hesitation in voting me a clear winner and new occupant of a beautiful house in the centre of London, which unfortunately 99.9 per cent of you will never see the inside of.

Rest assured though, Diana and I will be very happy there and, although a little decadent, no more or less than we deserve after all the years of hypocrisy and planning it has taken to realise our dreams.

The first thing I want to offer you is the cancelation and dismantling of all the UK’s nuclear capabilities. After all, who wants to kill and maim millions of fellow human beings?

The fact that we will then have no defence against those who want to kill millions of us, is no problem as I’m sure they will grow to love us when we poke our flowers down the barrels of their guns!

Next, I want to offer you all free education. I will pay for everyone and, even if you are total numbskulls, give all an equal opportunity to attend universities for as long as you like, and what’s more I’ll throw in free food as well.

Next, if you don’t feel the need to work, I will supply you with enough money to keep you in food, fags and beer and, particularly if you have large numbers of children, enough money to live the life of Riley and even spend some constructive leisure time in the betting shops.

If your friends from countries across the world want to come here for extended sleep overs, I will make sure they have enough money and free hand outs to stay as long as they like, even if many of them would like you all dead or serving a different cultural existence altogether.

Every worker’s wage will go up and, when I take over all the public transport companies, travel will be cheap and even free for everyone.

How is your old Dad going to pay for all these goodies I hear you ask?

Well it really is quite simple. After I’ve finished robbing all those rich b******s, I’ll simply borrow the rest.

When it all goes pear shaped I’ll then do what we have always done, let those we hate the most pick up all the pieces. No problem.

So, there you have it.

All this and more awaits at the end of my rainbow.

All you have to do is vote for me.

Thank you, my children.

Peace and love to you all.

Jeremy Corbyn.

Keep the faith Love Leapy / [email protected]

Leapy Lee’s opinions are his own and are not necessarily representative of those of the publishers, advertisers or sponsors

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Comments (6)

  1. me

Great article and so true.

 
  1. Jonathan Whittingham

The only reason smaller states are acquiring the nuclear option is to warn off the bullies who are threatening them with nuclear destruction if they do not comply with imperialistic demands. What part of that do you not understand?

 
  1. Sam B

More to the point, how's your No1 Hero, Trump, doing? You've gone all quiet on him. Fancy Leapy going quiet on anything! Still all loved up and leapy with him? I think we should be told.

 
  1. Sam B

Ol' Little Arrows has now flipped completely onto his B-side! Utter tripe from a fantasist who knows nothing about the real Jeremy Corbyn - only the lies and rubbish in the UK gutter press. Just watch Leapy as your favourite party implodes this...

Ol' Little Arrows has now flipped completely onto his B-side! Utter tripe from a fantasist who knows nothing about the real Jeremy Corbyn - only the lies and rubbish in the UK gutter press. Just watch Leapy as your favourite party implodes this weekend and sacks the PM - again!

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  1. Phil Mitch

There he was again, old Little Arrows prattling on again, about rainbows, Corbyn and Michael Eavis. No? Nor me, haven't a clue, either, apart from the fact you never, ever would have seen him as first act, or second, or 100th at Glastonbury in a...

There he was again, old Little Arrows prattling on again, about rainbows, Corbyn and Michael Eavis. No? Nor me, haven't a clue, either, apart from the fact you never, ever would have seen him as first act, or second, or 100th at Glastonbury in a million years.

He enlighted us on our nuclear defence capacity and how Corbyn would rid us of this and stick flowers down the barrels of enemy soldiers.

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  1. Phil Mitch

Let me remind you of one of the first rules of national security and that's to protect your leader. The lapse in security at the Tory Party conference was scandalous. When someone handed her a P45, allegedly from the parties full time jester...

Let me remind you of one of the first rules of national security and that's to protect your leader. The lapse in security at the Tory Party conference was scandalous. When someone handed her a P45, allegedly from the parties full time jester Boris!! With all the major security scares of late they let someone within spitting distance, in the middle of a speech, in a party conference. If the P45 had been a gun,knife or hand grenade. Slack!!

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