How to survive a (politically) boastful Christmas

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Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

Jeffrey Archer has something of a “reputation” but sometimes it helps to have someone with a reputation on your side.

Many years ago, I was a minor participant in a disastrous attempt to put on the world’s biggest carol concert in, if memory serves, Central Hall, London. Jeffrey was the MC, with the BBC doing a live radio broadcast of the vast, assembled throng singing en masse.

But practically no-one turned up! It was utterly humiliating and dispiriting for everyone. Except Jeffrey.

As the radio broadcast was about to begin, he turned to the few hundred of us there, gave us an encouraging grin and, speaking into the live mic, proclaimed in awe, “Ladies and gentlemen, you wouldn’t believe the spectacle I see all around me tonight…”, going on to describe the huge crowd and the incredible atmosphere. Electrified by his enthusiasm and drawn into the conspiracy by sheer admiration for his bravado, we yelled our hearts out and got away with it.

Heck! Almost sounds like Boris and Trump have taken a leaf out of Archer’s playbook. Remember Boris’s boasts that post-Brexit Britain will soar like Superman? His oven-ready Brexit deal? His flawed “world- beating” Test and Trace system?

Or The Donald’s biggest boasts? On his 2012 maybe-presidential candidacy: “I was leading in every poll. I was doing great.” Or this: “I have millions of followers. Millions. I don’t do press releases anymore. If I want a press release, I put it out on Twitter.

It’s like owning the New York Times without the losses.” Or this: “I happen to be, in my own way, an environmentalist. I’ve won many awards.” Or, finally, this: “I have great feelings of compassion and helping people.”

Is this man trustworthy? No. Would I buy a second-hand car from him? No. Am I glad he’s (almost) gone? Absolutely. Have I started talking to myself? Apologies, it’s this damn virtual lockdown. Let’s leave it at this: A HAPPY, HEALTHY XMAS to all readers – this message coming to you through the Inter-National ’Elf Service!

Nora Johnson’s psychological crime thrillers ‘No Safe Place’, ‘Betrayal’, ‘The Girl in the Woods’, ‘The Girl in the Red Dress’, ‘No Way Back’, ‘Landscape of Lies’, ‘Retribution’, ‘Soul Stealer’, ‘The De Clerambault Code’ (www.nora-johnson.net) available online as eBook (€0.99;£0.99), Apple Books, paperback & audiobook.All profits to Costa del Sol Cudeca cancer charity  

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Nora Johnson

Novelist Nora Johnson offers insights on everything from current affairs to life in Spain, with humour and a keen eye for detail.

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