Let Go of the Need to Control Everything In Your Life

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Let go of the things you can´t control Photo credit: Moving Forward Matters

Quote – Before you take control of your life you first must understand what “taking control” means.

I’m guessing that many of you would love nothing more than to have complete control of your lives? For me, this was an everyday occurrence. However, I never actually understood how much this affected my state of well being.

Trying to control the outcome of every aspect of my life, increased my anxiety and lead me to question my own natural ability to just be me! There were things I was trying to control that were actually, completely out of my control.  This then lead to frustration, anger and resentment.

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By concentrating on controlling everything outside of me, I lost my authentic self.  I lost my inner calm and peace, replacing it with uncertainty. I needed to know why I felt the need to control everything in my life, and why it was so important to me.  I had to revisit my past to find the answer.

I picked up my journal, and wrote the title “Why Do I Need To Be In Control?”  After frantically writing, I had dwindled it down to two main reasons……..FEAR and EGO.

My ego was telling me that if I didn’t control my personal and business life, I would fail!  I had to be perfect in every way possible to avoid said failure and to also avoid the judgement of others.  If I had control, I would only achieve success.


I felt that I had to control my work, my relationship, who I allowed around me because then, there was no way I could get hurt!  The problem was, I was the one that was causing the hurt.  Not only to myself but everyone around me.

So How Do You Let Go Of The Need To Control?  Here are three of the top tips that taught me how to be less of a control freak

Learn to just be


You cannot control anything that is outside of you.  You can only control the emotions that you attach to it.  Be at peace with yourself.  Take anything between 5 and 30 minutes per day to “Just Be”. Find a quiet spot, take in your surroundings and enjoy the moment.

Don’t pressurise yourself to feel or do anything, just enjoy whatever comes to you at that moment and breath.  Show gratitude for what you have, here and now.  Let go of the outcome and appreciate the calmness within you.

Write a list

Write a list of the things that you CAN control. By physically writing the list of what you can control, can remove the need to control what is outside of you.  My list consists of the following,

My mental well being – I can control my mental state and well being by doing what makes my soul happy.  For me, this includes, reading a book, meditation and journaling.  As a believer of the law of attraction, I understand that we all work on electrical frequencies.

By ensuring I am on a high-frequency level, and being at peace with myself, I will attract more of the same back to me.

My Appearance – I can control how I want to look.  If I wish to wear makeup, I can. If I wish to just kick back in my favourite PJs, with my hair scrunched, on the top of my head, I can.

Let go of the What Ifs

What if it goes wrong?  What if I make a fool of myself?  What if I fail.  These were questions that entered my mind daily.  Now I ask the same question back!

Nothing you do is a failure, it is merely a lesson and with lessons comes growth.  If something doesn’t go the way you want it to, let go of trying to control it.

Try a different approach or understand that, what has happened, was meant to happen. Realign with your true self and try again.

For more information on releasing control, please visit dionelockyermindsetmentor.com

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