Do you know your REAL NEEDS?

So many people are completely out of touch with their real needs, they become so engrossed with the 60,000+ thoughts that go through their mind on a daily basis that they can’t even think what they are!

What actually drives you to think, feel and behave in unhealthy ways? What you think you want and what you really want are actually two different things. So how do you identify the difference between what you think you need to what you actually need? It involves peeling away your layers like an onion. Let’s start with the unhappiness and dissatisfaction in your life (the outside layer). We need to examine the surface.

Ask yourself the following questions:
How do you currently behave?
What precise actions do you take that sabotages your life?
Do you speak badly of others to make yourself feel better?
Do you pick holes in your friends, your partner or even strangers?

Now let’s peel back the next layer, the identification. If you have answered yes to any of these questions, this identifies being unhappy in your own life. You may show an emotion of anger, frustration but this isn’t the REAL emotion. Anger and frustration is a defensive emotion that actually protects you from feeling and facing your true emotions, such as fear or loneliness. For example; if anger is your dominant emotion, let’s peel back the layer of the onion even further and uncover your primary emotion. Ask yourself, what is your fear? What are you afraid of? This will bring you a step closer to your REAL need.

If your thoughts focus on something or someone outside of you, then you haven’t yet arrived at your underlying thoughts that are connected with your real need. It will always start and end with YOU. Ask yourself a further question; what do you think about? Specify which need actually sits at the heart of yourself- defeating life.

Your real needs will ALWAYS be one of the following:
-LOVE
-SECURITY
-CONTROL
-COMPETENCE
-POSITIVE EMOTIONS

Can you choose the need that is most connected with the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that you have just identified? If you feel you need help with the identification and would also like the information of the final layer to detect how the needs develop, then my FREE, 4-day course is for you.
You can find it on https://www.facebook.com/groups/168385407787753/?ref=share
Or email http://coachingwithdione@gmail.com

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Cassandra

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