You will see so many ‘gurus’ telling you that you should be happy all day every day.
As a therapist that is known as the REAL, RAW AND HONEST MINDSET MENTOR, there are quite a few choice words I could use but as this is a respectable newspaper ill just say….what a crock of cr*p!
There will be days when getting out of bed feels like a mission, when the last thing you want to do is smile. Worry takes over, you feel just… mergh and there’s nothing anyone can say or do to change that.
When this happens, do not and I repeat, DO NOT put further pressure on yourself! Allow yourself to feel however you want. If you want to cry for absolutely no reason, cry! If you want to scream at the top of your voice to release then scream. If you want to sit in front of the tv and watch rom coms all day, DO IT!
It is more than ok to have those off days. Those off days are the days that actually help us grow. They actually teach us what we don’t want in life, they actually teach us that in order to feel better, we have to think differently. They show us who and what we want to be or do. They teach us that bad days are not the end of the world as long as we don’t stay there for too long. As a woman who suffered with depression, those off days were frequent. I would wallow around in self-pity for weeks on end, questioning who I was, what I was supposed to be doing, who I was meant to be.
The more pressure I put on myself for feeling low, the lower it made me feel, the more depressed I became. It was a vicious circle!
When I started studying Anxiety Management and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, I taught myself to release the pressure. If I had a day where I felt low or depressed but still got through that day that was something to celebrate right? I’d managed to get through the day and to me, that was all that mattered.
I decided to give myself small, daily challenges to help me overcome the depressed state I was in, they were as follows; I got through today, therefore; my challenge for tomorrow is to smile at least once. When I succeeded, it encouraged me to do more…
I managed to smile twice today therefore, tomorrow my challenge is I’m going to do my hair and makeup to make myself feel better. Again, it was achieved. One small step every day has turned me into the proud, confident and positive Therapist that I am today.
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