US intelligence has concluded that North Korean leader Kim Jong-un did not have heart surgery and was, in fact, hiding in his private train in the south of the country.
Rumours of his death have been circulating the worlds press media for weeks, the US even scrambled five spy planes to look for him, intelligence networks were frantically trying to verify his existence until now, its official, Kim Jong-us is alive and well.
A picture of the ‘Supreme Leader’ was posted on the internet that showed him in a glass coffin, this was quickly taken down however and just as quickly reposted by anti-North Korean factions in South Korea.
No-one has seen or heard of the doctor that supposedly performed the heart operation on Kim Jong-un in scenes reminiscent of Sacha Baron Cohens The Dictator, the Middle Eastern tyrant General Aladeen, leader of the fictional country of Wadiya.
Sources in North Korea have revealed that Kim Jong-un is absolutely horrified at the thought of getting the coronavirus and took a small army with him on the train who stand guard 24 hours to look over him.
What’s next for North Korea? We will have to wait and see. The population is starving, China is supplying food and medicine, completely against the tough sanctions introduced by the US, and as far as anyone knows there are no reported cases of Covid-19 in the country.
Just this morning, the supreme leader posted this on his Twitter account:
‘In an informal conversation this morning, I was invited by President Trump to visit the United States to officially support him before November 2020. It will help make America great again.’