ALIENS: There are no current guidelines.
ALIENS: There are no current guidelines.

THE first British cosmonaut Helen Sharman has said she believes aliens do exist, claiming extra terrestrials ‘could be living amongst us here on Earth,’ but have simply gone undetected thus far.

“Aliens exist, there’s no two ways about it,” she stated, adding that: “there must be all sorts of different forms of life” among the billions of stars. Although aliens may not be made up of carbon and nitrogen like humans “it’s possible they’re here right now and we simply can’t see them.”

Presumably, though, those who do make it manage to pass through Heathrow when passport control is having one of its relaxed days. The rest will just have to join the queue and wait – Border Control has no ‘guidelines’ concerning those not from a country on earth.


In many low-budget, science-fiction classics of the past like ‘The Invaders,’ ‘Invasion Of The Body Snatchers,’ ‘Quatermass 2,’ the alien invaders had the power to assume human form. Maybe some among the migrants amongst us aren’t just from other lands, but other planets? After all, according to the 2011 census, the UK alone underwent its biggest population surge after a decade of mass immigration.

Some even believe many ‘alien migrants,’ collectively, are known as Members of Parliament since they often sound like they’re on another planet. Well, perhaps that’s because they are.

Good grief! Next we’ll read northern Europe’s bad weather is the fault of aliens. Their UFOs moved the jet stream south. Anyway, let’s hope they’ve brought their wellies and brollies with them if they’re visiting the UK at the moment.

Really! Stories like these – head in bucket of sand comes to mind – do bring the crazies out. Is it a very early April Fool’s Day story – the usual time when such daft stories are regularly trotted out? What real news are we being distracted from? Elvis has been sighted on the moon – again? Slebs really do write their own novels? And Donald Trump isn’t planning to run for re-election this November? No, hang on, that is true!

Nora Johnson’s psychological crime thrillers ‘Betrayal,’ ‘The Girl in the Woods,’ ‘The Girl in the Red Dress,’ ‘No Way Back,’ ‘Landscape of Lies,’ ‘Retribution,’ ‘Soul Stealer,’ ‘The De Clerambault Code’ ( available online as ebook (€0.99;£0.99), ibook, paperback and audiobook. All profits to Costa del Sol Cudeca cancer charity.

Nora is the author of popular psychological suspense and crime thrillers and a freelance journalist.


  1. I believe that there are many alien species living amongst us. Ever thought at the rail station, supermarket, bus stop, airport, that individual looks odd. He dosent look human but can hide in a crowd, with the high level of weirdoes we have walking around on the streets these days.Who is going to walk up to them & challenge them? Its a know fact many politicians are from the planet Uranus. Easy to stop once they start talking. It could be too late already.


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