THERE’S a Mother’s Day celebration somewhere in the world nearly every month. In the UK, it’s this Sunday, 31st March. In most of Europe and North America it’s in May. In Thailand and Costa Rica in August. In Argentina in October, and in Panama and Indonesia December.
Whatever its date, though, there are things only a Mother can teach. For instance, it’s she who instructs us about the art of ANTICIPATION: “Just wait till your father gets home!” And of RECEIVING: “You’re going to get it when we get home!”
About HOW TO MEET A CHALLENGE: “Answer me when I talk to you. Don’t talk back to me!” And the subtleties of LOGIC: “Because I said so, that’s why.”
Not to mention the intricacies of MEDICAL SCIENCE: “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they’re going to freeze that way.” GENETICS: “You’re just like your father.” FORESIGHT: “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re run over by a bus.” Our ROOTS: “Do you think you were born in a barn?” And the WISDOM OF AGE: “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
A favourite lesson too is JUSTICE: “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you’ll see what it’s like.” The WEATHER: “It looks as if a hurricane’s swept through your room.” RELIGION: “You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.” And, long before any of us watched Dr Who, TIME TRAVEL: “If you don’t shape up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
And science is on the timetable years before we study it at school – the science of OSMOSIS: “Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”
How can we begin to thank our Mothers for all these invaluable insights? When I was a kid, and kicking up a foul-mouthed rumpus, she’d say, “If you haven’t got anything nice to say, then why don’t you say nothing at all?” Imagine if I had listened to her then. Where would I be now?
Nora Johnson’s psychological crime thrillers ‘The Girl in the Woods’, ‘The Girl in the Red Dress’, ‘No Way Back’, ‘Landscape of Lies’, ‘Retribution’, ‘Soul Stealer’, ‘The De Clerambault Code’ (www.nora-johnson.net) available from Amazon in paperback/eBook (€0.99; £0.99) and iBookstore.All profits to Costa del Sol Cudeca cancer charity