OBVIOUSLY there are some things that really matter and sometimes being right can be important. However lately I’ve noticed how often we can go out of our way to prove a point when the only benefit is to let the other person know that they’re wrong.
We’re all guilty of this to some degree and none of us is perfect but, I thought I’d make a mental note to really assess what’s important this year; always being right isn’t one of them and making other people feel silly or inferior is certainly never on my list.
Listening to all the silly arguments over the festive season between spouses or friends, over the silliest things, really brought this point to light for me. Are we that lacking of real conversation that we need to resort to putting so much importance on things that really do not matter? Have we become that self-important that we really believe that our opinion means so much in the overall scale of things? Is being wrong so terrible anyway in most day-to-day situations? We’re not meant to be perfect or all capable of the same things, or seeing things in exactly the same way. We’re meant to exchange views and broaden our horizons, not beat someone down until they submit to our judgement.
Even with major world issues at the end of the day it’s all just an opinion, whether it will be mine, yours, or someone else’s and yet, wars are fought on small and large-scale worldwide.
It’s just how we perceive the information that we’ve received and how we process it, based on our teachings and experience that often will dictate our immediate beliefs. Learning to listen to other people’s beliefs and accept them as part of the overall possibilities that life offers is a must, to avoid much futile arguing and worse. Do we really have to prove anything to others or are we fundamentally trying to prove something to ourselves?
More often than not the harder we try to convince someone of our truth the more they will feel the need to defend their position. If the person is not really interested in what we have to say or feels threatened in any way, our “vital” information will fall upon deaf ears, only re-engaging when it’s their turn to talk, to explain why they’re right and we’re wrong. They might not have even felt so strongly about the matter discussed unless they’d been forced to justify themselves.
Communication, the lack of it or the lack to ensure that our true message and meaning have been conveyed successfully, is key to all our problems, from minor misunderstandings to potential world war situations. The importance we give to a situation marks the path of how the event will unfold. Jumping to negative conclusions will surely bring the desired outcome and making someone feel negative about themselves, does no one any good.
There is a big difference between what “is” and what we think it is, so perhaps we should spend less time trying to make people believe we’re right and spend more time trying to right the wrongs for more people.
Ps. Please email now to sign up to this years #UNMS2019 United Nationalities of Marbella Summit 2019 – 25.04.19 this year helping our local, resident youth with appropriate services and activities!