I’m offended that you’re offended

I DUNNO, it really does appear that in this day and age you can pick up any old rock and discover some ‘offended’ creep skulking under there somewhere.
This week was a real humdinger. The left wing (natch!) National Union of Students, (natch again!), have decided that public hand clapping, whooping and cheering should be banned as they consider it ‘offensive to deaf people’! You really couldn’t make it up.
Do these young idiots ever do any actual studying? Do they ever get their heads down and use their free libraries and state financed education establishments (which many a third world student would give their eye teeth for) to create a little brain power? Or are their days spent in cuckoo land, dreaming up any lunatic scheme or idea, merely to give themselves an excuse for existing?
Apparently, their alternative suggestion to applause, is the use of ‘Jazz Hands.’ This entails raising the arms and enthusiastically waggling the hands and fingers. (Think Black and White Minstrel Show.) ‘Er, hold on a minute, no noise? Wouldn’t that be offensive to blind people? You see, all this PC and ‘offended’ clap trap actually has no end. It simply goes on and on. I may be offended by deaf people communicating by sign language because it doesn’t include me!
Or upset because pigs have been excluded from my school books, (yep!). There are billions of people on earth; whatever your opinions you’re bound to offend someone. Did you know that some people are offended by the use of the expression ‘rule of thumb?’ This is because the thumb was originally introduced to measure the thickness of the stick you could use to beat the wife!
Just to get back briefly to the student ‘clapping’ opposition, I think I’ve solved it. Passing wind would take care of it. An appreciative audience, in a communal coordinated gas release, would satisfy everyone. Deaf, blind, dumb, physically impaired. All would benefit.
There’s one for your pathetic student union to contemplate, when it next engages in the pea brained activity it laughingly calls ‘educated debate’.
Oh, and while you’re about it, when you come to the question of a second Brexit referendum, which no doubt has been supported at many a gathering of your laughable leftist liaisons, what if a second vote yielded the same leave result? Any plans for that? ‘Course not. With the ignorance of the young, you’re all far too arrogant to admit you may get something wrong. It’s time our next generation started to talk of WHEN we leave. Not IF! Now that would be a constructive use of taxpayer’s money.
I’ll leave all our young time-wasters with a motif for their new T shirts.
I’m offended
That you’re offended
By me taking offence
At your offensive,
Offensiveness! Alright!?
Oh, and I’ve just discovered why Sky’s obnoxious Kay Burley seems to get all the cream news assignments. She’s a major SKY share holder. ‘Course she is. I bet she’s popular with her, oft far more talented fellow news presenters, who never seem to get a look in!
Keep the faith.
Love Leapy
leapylee2002@gmail.com.