Hotel coat hangers…

IT used to be that supermarkets carefully placed products near the till so us, the punters, would pick them up on the way out.

Then there was a hoo ha that, for instance, it wasn’t fair if they put sweets there, kids would start kicking off if their parents wouldn’t buy them some so many shops stopped the practice. 

To be fair the worst thing that could happen is you’d come home with a) a couple of sulky ankle biters or b) some scrummy chocolate. Then Aldi and Lidl came along and the whole art of shopping changed. 

Rows and rows of cheap groceries with unpronounceable names. So the wife pops out for some bread and milk and you get a phone call saying, ‘Err have you got the phone number of a van hire company?’ ‘Why.’ ‘I’m in Aldi – I got the bread and milk then strolled down the middle aisles and bought a drum kit and a canoe.’ 

I exaggerate slightly but recently I’ve found myself the proud owner of a cover to put on the back seat of the car so the dog won’t moult all over the place,  pots and pans I don’t need and a padded jacket. This means that all the money saved buying hurdy gurdy brand products is blown in the middle aisles.  It’s the equivalent of a jumble sale come boot fair. I know the answer is ‘don’t’ look’ but I just turn in to the kid having a strop because mum won’t let me look at the sweetie counter. I’m thinking of starting a group called MAA – Middle Aisle Anonymous – so all addicts like me can go and get support.

Hotel coat hangers? Who decided that instead of the traditional household ones they have the things that are just a stem that you then have to try and get into a fiddly little hole. They would be more at home at a fairground than a wardrobe. Now it’s probably worse for me because of my leg problems but even Mrs S says they are a nuisance and if she says so then it’s written in stone. Do hotels get that many nicked? 

I mean, they sometimes have the little satiny ones which are no good to man nor beast which are obviously more expensive than the wooden ones, but those can be removed easily. I’d happily pay a tenner hanger deposit for normal ones or just give me plastic ones that they give me if I ask for more. Mind you it’s not as bad as one hotel I stayed in in New York in the early 90’s where they had the ashtrays in the room screwed to the table but that’s another story for another time.

Email mikesenker@gmail.com.