Police selling guns

AUCTION SALE: Hundreds of firearms.

WHILE it may seem somewhat counterproductive to public safety, the Guardia Civil Command in Alicante will auction off hundreds of firearms at a private event on September 12. 

Organised by the force’s elite weapons unit, the auction will see a total of 660 guns up for grabs, including 486 rifles, 120 handguns, seven big game hunting rifles, and several puny airguns. 

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The deadly offering will be available for public viewing from until September 9 before the big event. Local residents wondering why the police would suddenly be handing out weapons rather than raking them in shouldn’t be too concerned about the prospects of a lone wolf killer getting their hands on the haul – all the weapons are completely decommissioned and useless save for languishing in the deranged basements of avid collectors. 

All weapons not sold will be melted for scrap metal in a wise nod to cosmic harmony. 


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