Paint with a vengeance: Pee-proof walls presented by Pamplona

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TECHNOLOGY is finally being put to good use in Spain as the country abandons prohibitive solar power taxes and, despite political deadlock, convenes a forbidding and heavily funded scientific panel to manage a secret nuclear fusion reactor believed capable of solving world hunger, reversing climate change, and beaming humanity to the stars. 

Before getting on with all that scientists will tackle one of the country’s most pressing problems head on, people peeing against the medieval walls of Pamplona during the running of the bulls festival. 

Clad in white coats and wearing protective goggles, technicians have devised a state-of-the-art urine-repellent paint that will splash streams of the yellow stuff right back at any culprits. 

“It’s a special kind of hydrophobic paint and is invisible to the eye but will be painted on the lower part of the walls in the key problem areas during the fiesta” gushed a city council spokesman as he anxiously bounced around.

“As a result of the repellent, the stream of urine rebounds from the surface and soaks the trousers and shoes of those who decide to relieve themselves in a public place,” 

It is the final solution for local authorities who claim to spend €10,000 each year drying the streets of discharge, only to be accused by the very people they protect of mismanaging public finances. 

The provision of portaloos and portable urinals has apparently done very little to stem the flow of revellers relieving themselves against the ancient city walls, and hefty €300 fines haven’t made a patch of difference. 

Beginning this year on July 6, the eight day festival has origins stretching back more than 500 years, attracting roughly one million visitors eager to run in front of a half dozen unleashed toro bravo bulls. 

Every year there are injuries, while frequent gorings and deaths make for an excitedly unpredictable time for all. 

This year is likely to see even more mayhem than usual as festival goers predictably try to test out the paint’s potency on one another, or direct the fury of their bursting bladders towards other targets, including bins, trees, churches, small children, and their own pants when a bull finally catches up to them. 

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