IN the not so distant past it was very easy to identify the apex criminals at the top of the food chain because they were the people who collected your taxes, or rather the people who sent the cloaked minions who collected your taxes.
Government were the biggest crooks of the bunch because, unlike those shipped off to Australia to terrorise the locals, they had actually gotten away with their crimes.
The warring tribes of Britain, Spain, and even France, which consolidated themselves into Kafkaesque bureaucratic nightmares in the industrial era, were the direct descendents of thieving inbred dynasties which had plundered their way to power throughout the middle ages, and life was much simpler.
Today the tentacles of power have become more fluid and cosmopolitan, while British politicians seem to have finally succumbed to their inbred origins. Just like the commoners, they are now mere pawns in a hilarious geopolitical carry on, forced to pretend that we are somehow in charge of our own destiny because primary schools will be shut for a day on June 23.
Let’s have a look at the key players, a gaggle of emotionally crippled braggarts who make Jimmy Saville look like Princess Diana before the accident.
David Cameron has almost perfected the art of looking like a statesman but, given that his referendum pledge has already backfired into a playground squabble over the future of his party, can be said to have all the tactical nous of a deranged antelope fleeing a CIA experiment.
His floppy haired gurning nemesis Boris Johnson goes about his business with the elegant grace of a punched seagull, while fellow traveller Michael Gove possesses all the gravitas of a bespectacled transgender penguin.
This joke of a referendum campaign was spawned by a government so weak that it was willing to bow to the whim of a collective which looks to sensationalist tabloid rags for inspiration in the tragic delusion that the media has their back.
It has been orchestrated by a group of soft-bellied gunrunners, who couldn’t give a damn about the outcome, as a means of quieting the masses while they conduct their real affairs in Panama and the Virgin Islands.
Engaging with these people on any level of seriousness, other than a humane bullet to the back of the head, is a self-inflicted act of spiritual vandalism that is entirely pointless.
The Panama Papers simply confirm that Britain is a slightly soggy money laundering machine in the eyes of world finance and voting yes or no to Brexit won’t make the slightest bit of difference to that stark truth.