OUT OF a sense of public duty, one of our readers, Philip from San Fulgencio has sent us details of what he believes is an insidious plot which is sapping the wills of human beings and turning us into slaves of earthling quadrupeds with curling appendages.
We accept no responsibility for the following revelation but print it as it was received and without further comment;
I have a theory that the real threat from within Spain and the U.K. isthe ever increasing number of our canine species, dogs! They are everywhere, running wild, on leads, in pushchairs, in baskets, on bikes, driving articulated lorries, on scooters, mopeds, being carried, up peoples jumpers, in handbags ,shopping baskets, why, I even saw one directing traffic the other day. Late reports suggest they are now stroking humans and owners are sleeping with them in baskets.
Makes you wonder how they came to have four legs. I hear several secret training camps are already thriving in Almeria. Beware the dog!
The majority seem to wear designer gear, hats, cardigans, socks, hats, sun shades, blouses, hobnail boots, wellingtons, evening gowns, tuxedos. Not to mention the scouse brow and back combed barnet!!
They crap where they stand and decorate endless walls, trees and sometimes people with urine. A great many owners don’t bother picking up the mess; they leave it for some poor sod to do that.
Beware The Dog!