The end is nigh (yet again)

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MAYAN PREDICTION: Was one of doom and gloom.

I AM finding it very difficult to sleep of late. Some unidentified expert or other, has predicted that the Earth could cease to exist sometime soon – between September 22 and 28 to be more precise – because a massive asteroid is heading our way.

NASA has reassured us that this is a load of horlicks, but this is worrying in itself. Whenever an official body goes out of its way to deny anything, then we had better watch out.

Still, we all remember the ancient Mayan prediction of doom and gloom, stating categorically that the world would come to an end on December 21, 2012. Well the day came and went and here we still are.

But it’s an ill wind, because churches saw an upturn in business, beer and spirit sales went through the roof and I had a particularly good single malt whisky on my cornflakes that morning.

But to be honest I did not take the prophecy seriously, because those Mayans were a strange lot who spent their time star gazing but never got around to inventing the wheel.

It would appear that as a body, they just upped and left their great cities one Wednesday morning. A note was left on the door of a stepped pyramid saying ‘Gone to Lunch’ and they simply never came back, and although there are traces of them still in Central America and Basingstoke, to all intents and purposes their civilisation disappeared.

And it was obviously on foot, because rumour has it that a massive fleet of wagons was found intact in the temple car park, propped up on bricks just waiting for someone to invent something circular to go in each corner.

Reassuringly we are told, astronomers have the means to spot the approach of an asteroid well in advance.

We have powerful radio telescopes and we have Hubble – although on the down side, we no longer have Patrick Moore.

Nevertheless I shall play safe and have that bottle of single malt standing at the ready.

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