Summer’s here – bring it on!

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COLD BEER: Time to share with old friends who are back for a visit.

IT’S here. Summer. Along with flies, blistering heat, no see ums at night, crowded roads, restaurants full and tourists feigning to step on the zebra line and then jumping back.
A quick glance at the phenomenon might relegate you to abject boredom, troubling your patience. Yes, but it also arrives with Old Friends and Cold Beer. And, best of all, time to share both, because, after all, you are not going anywhere, not in this traffic.
I’ve been blessed with the many friends that come back for a visit or to reacquaint themselves with their villas. I know the first handful of phone calls will be about, the water doesn’t work (turn on the main cog under the sink), the electricity doesn’t work (go to the junction box and flip the switch). “We’ve got to have a pool this year how soon can you get one done?” Well, not before you leave!
The area has expanded to such a degree I cannot rightfully admit I know all the new and good places to eat; just the old tried and true. If you need late night entertainment just park your car and watch. Masses of hen parties seem to be breeding all along the front as are bands of t-shirt traffic cops who, with a beer in their hand, act differently than they would at home (well, probably not).
Music too loud? It’s summer and not just anywhere but in a popular resort. Put up with it, join in or lose sleep and self control. Cold beer is the answer to most summer problems. But if you find yourself constantly bothered get on down to BIG FAT MAMA’S on a Sunday afternoon where you can let off a little steam.
You can argue football with 19 different nationalities in eight different languages. Learn the perfect ‘swear words’ in an unusual tongue. Impress your friends back home. Oh, and those wonderful distorted, flippant unusual gestures. “Leave ‘em gobsmacked.” Keep drinking as your hosts are most convivial and if you stay long enough you hit the ‘magic hour’ (7:30) when all the beach people return to their cars to shower and get changed for going out in the evening. This leaves you parking at AKU AKU, TITO’S and THE RUSTY NAIL.
See, summer isn’t so bad. You’ve just got to plan it. Still confused, call me for a guide, not cheap but entertaining. Worry not, of course I’ll meet you at the chemists in the morning, the usual aspirin and sun tan lotion and a cold beer already pre-ordered.

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