Spring marks the end of dark times and hopefully bad news

31st March

SO it is officially Spring! When the clocks change it always puts a bounce in my step but even more so this year.

It marks the end of dark evenings and dark times and hopefully the end to bad news.

The children’s grandfather died yesterday, which was expected but nonetheless sad.

The children have been navigating their way through the grief that they feel over the loss of their father and seem to have learnt from it.

On hearing their grandpa had died, their reaction was one of stilled sadness followed quickly by resignation and comprehension.

Instead of crying they talked about how funny he was and what a fabulous and full life he had lived.

I remember him telling the children to look after me especially in the early stages of my diagnosis and post op when I could do very little around the house.

He told them that cooking was easy ‘Grandpa style’! This meant that you had to chuck everything into a pan and when you smelled burning it was ready! He added that if Mum isn’t too impressed you just have to add curry powder.

Well, two weeks into their attempts Grandpa laughed his head off as the children jokingly told him that I had complained that everything tasted of curry.

They saw a lot of their grandfather in their father and both said that they imagined they would be united in Heaven.

Angus’s father was very ill and the week before Angus died he had gone to visit his father in England to say goodbye.

Little did we know that Ian would be bidding farewell to his son.

I honestly believe that brought about his rapid decline although his condition was terminal.

No parent should have to bury their child.

I was extremely fond of Ian and he loved me like a daughter.

I shall miss him.

The last few days have been spent in the ‘campo’ recharging our batteries and catching up with friends.

The children love being in the countryside and the peace and freedom it gives them.

I love living near the sea but there are moments when I remember my lovely house in the country perched on top of a hill nestled amongst the almond and olive groves and surrounded by mountains.

The tranquillity is something I miss particularly as we live next to a friendly yet noisy Spanish family.

A five-minute stroll to the beach makes up for it though! Tomorrow is session number seven, marking the penultimate one in my chemo treatment.

Hard to believe but I am getting closer to finishing.

So, as always, in preparation, I will make sure the house is spick and span and all the shopping is done.

I will spend a relaxing afternoon with the children, perhaps a stroll along the sea front and an ice cream and then an early night in preparation for the day ahead.

I am so used to the needles and injections now but being in the hospital all day is probably the most tiring thing of all.

I always tell myself it is just one day out of my life and soon this will all be a distant memory.