Rants, gripes and bugbears – a message for hoteliers in 2015!

IT always mystifies me how I can pay a small fortune for a minuscule room in a trendy hotel in London or any big city and feel less at home than in my own home!

Over-complex controls are a major bugbear. Some shower controls, for instance, require mega experimentation before you suss out how to work the damned thing – without scalding or freezing yourself to death.

Hoteliers, please provide simple controls, a steady water pressure and a thermostatic temperature control! Likewise, the room phone should be simple enough to use without requiring a PhD in electrical engineering and/or telecommunications. A few speed dial buttons clearly labelled to contact the front desk and room service are quite enough.

Another gripe is the lighting. Invariably I have to pull the damned plugs out of the sockets to switch off standard lamps. And I like my room to be dark when I am sleeping. I don’t want to be lying under or next to a control console with more flickering lights than Regent Street at Christmas! 

Also, more easily accessible power points, please! I’m going to use the power supply, so make it easy for me to access it – not have to crawl around or under the desk and unplug other appliances. And speaking of the desk, can you remove all the clutter?

A desk should only have a lamp and a telephone disturbing the vast wilderness of empty simulated wood-grain. The room service menu, advertising for all the other hotels in the group and directory of services should be stowed away in a drawer. The desk is for my own personal stuff!

Finally, there are never enough pillows, are there? But nor do I want 15 cushions piled on the bed, a daft towel ‘swan sculpture’ or that equally daft bit of fabric draped across the end which does nothing but needs to be removed before I can get in, and be plonked … where?

On top of all those cushions piled in the corner, of course.

These are just a few practical issues I’d be really grateful if any hoteliers amongst you out there could consider in 2015. And, for all you readers too, any gripes I’ve missed out? Okay, rant over! Happy New Year!

Nora Johnson’s thrillers ‘Landscape of Lies,’ ‘Retribution,’ ‘Soul Stealer,’ ‘The De Clerambault Code’ (www.nora-johnson.com) available from Amazon in paperback/eBook (€0.89;£0.79) and iBookstore. Profits to Cudeca.