IT’S that time when we look forward to the New Year and think how can we make life better. It is the time for our New Year resolutions, and I see no reason why our canine friends should be left out.
Here is my light-hearted list of the pledges our dogs should make…
• I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.
• I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
• I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
• I will not eat the cats’ food, before, or after, they eat it.
• I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
• I will not throw up in the car.
• I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
• I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell them.
• I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think that I am haemorrhaging.
• When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.
• I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.
• We do not have a doorbell. Therefore, I will not bark each time I hear one on the television.
• I will not steal my Mum’s underwear and dance all over the garden with them.
• The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mum and Dad’s laps.
• My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
• I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mum’s driver’s licence and car registration.