Whisked off to love’s city for a little bit of romance

ANOTHER week, another Saint to pay our respects to here in Spain.

But Saint Valentine happens to be a world-wide phenomena, second in reach only to New Year’s Day, so whether you’re living in Torremolinos, Tokyo or Timbuktu there is no escaping this day allocated to romance.

Come tomorrow (February 15) you can of course be back at each others’ throats, arguing like cat and dog, but for Valentine’s itself, we are meant to be struck by Cupid’s arrow, exchanging keepsakes over candlelit dinners ideally in Paris, or Venice.

So, let’s be honest: How many cards did you get? How many dozens of roses? To make things easier, let’s categorise the answers.

A. All of the above, in plentiful supply, while whisked off to the City of Love. Oh, and a Cartier Love Bangle. Doesn’t everyone?

B. A recycled card and a cactus, accompanied by a peck on the cheek with promises of ‘let’s go out when it’s not so expensive’.

C. None. You forgot all about it and besides isn’t Valentine’s for teenagers?

If you answered A, then congratulations. I can only hope that you managed to clear the vast pile of cards from the front door mat in order to make the flight in time. But then it was a private charter, so it waited for you, n’est ce pas? Just remember to drop the roses off with the neighbour, since they will have wilted by the time you return.  Is, per chance, this a fairly new relationship or is your Valentine a Russian oligarch? Just a lucky guess.

If you answered B, then one must salute the thriftiness of your other half. These are hard times after all and a cactus does last a whole lot longer than flowers and can be a useful weapon should a burglar strike. If you have ever had a cactus spine embedded in a finger, you know what I mean. Peering into my crystal ball, I reckon you’ve been in this relationship a fair few years; it’s comfortable like a slipper but low on surprises.

If you answered C, you may be footloose and fancy-free or you’ve been in a relationship for more years than you would care to admit; in fact, you sometimes have to think twice to remember his name. And you are right, Valentine’s Day is, indeed, a trumped up commercial ploy for florists and restaurants to make us all feel guilty. You are cunning to avoid its evil grip.

Still, relationship experts suggest that we should pay more heed to romance, be it on Valentine’s Day or any other day. Listening to and praising each other is, apparently, high on the list of things we tend to forget over time

That is all from me, Cupid, this week. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and tend to my cactus.