The NHS has sunk into disarray

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IT never ceases to intrigue, and often completely baffle me, as to the number of expats who scurry frantically back to the auld country when in need of medical treatment.

Personally, the idea of throwing myself at the mercy of the British NHS hospital organization is terrifying.

The horror stories that issue from these places can often defy the imagination. People left on gurneys for hours. Patients dying from dehydration, or laying unattended in their own urine and faeces.

Nurses in t-shirts bearing the instructions “don’t talk to me, I’m doing something else”. It simply goes on and on. One of the reasons people do give for returning to the UK for treatment, is that they feel more comfortable when the staff understand the language.

Well even that’s out of the window now. According to the latest directive from Brussels (where else) it is now politically incorrect to insist nursing staff (or doctors) speak English!

The mind truly does boggle. This, of course, is the whole problem in a nut-shell. With the influx of so many foreign ‘medical persons,’ whose qualifications and standards are far below those of their dedicated British counterparts of yore, the whole organization has sunk into total disarray.

Indeed there is now a high risk that you could catch a totally unrelated lurgy during your hospitalization, than actually be cured of the one you were admitted for! Mind you, I think I have an answer to the language problem. On admittance, all patients could be supplied with a variety of picture cards to represent to their various problems. Sketch of a man with a knife in the belly.

‘I have a sharp pain in stomach’. Person being hit over the head with a hammer. ‘I have a headache.’ Picture of a graveyard and bonfire. ‘I feel like death warmed up.’ And so on. Don’t laugh. Some faceless moron could well present that idea at the next anorak office gathering, they simply haven’t thought of it yet.

Well I’ll tell you, if, or more likely when I need any future medical care or hospitalization, I come down firmly and decisively on the side of my adopted country. To me the Spanish health service and hospital standards are first class.

Everything that the UK used to be.

Furthermore, I guarantee not one person would be allowed into their profession without a firm knowledge of Spanish – Brussels or no Brussels. Oh and by the way, the majority of them speak English as well. I rest my case.

Finally I have come up with a plot to strike dumb and confuse a whole multitude of so called TV presenters and media marauders. I am going to eliminate the word ‘amazing’ from the English language, that’ll fox ‘em. Amazing ennit?

Keep the faith.

Love Leapy. [email protected]

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