The chronicles according to Arty McNoodle

FUNNY thing happened on the way to the river.

Our journey starts in the land of pre flop. An oasis for playing cards, yes a veritable cornucopia of Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds and Spades, all mixed up in the fraternity known as the deck.

It’s here that a beautiful witch has the ultimate control, sometimes known as “The Dealer”.

She waits to distribute her magic cards to the waiting pack, all sitting upright like expectant meerkats, looking around for clues as to what the other meerkats are looking around for.

The air of expectancy is so intense that the pack can be heard to speak in an array of foreign tongues, garbling on about being suited and connected and priced in.

The wicked witch then begins to cast her spells in a clockwise manner, making some hearts skip a beat and putting others into a trance like state mumbling and cursing like someone who lost a pound and found a shilling.

The pack consolidate their soldiers who are cunningly disguised as a chipstack, by riffling and stacking, creating a mix of denominations ready to go into battle, into the war zone known as “The Pot”.

Only the brave and foolhardy should consider such a leap into the unknown as the wicked witch prepares to deliver “The Flop” right into the heart of the ensuing battle. “BOOM” she deals and some of the meerkats are visibly wounded, retiring to the shelter of “The Fold” licking their wounds and regrouping their remaining soldiers to fight another day.

But not Arty McNoodle, oh no, he fires a barrage of soldiers into the pot, announcing “Raise” The bugles sound for a full blown retreat. Round one goes to Arty McNoodle but this war has only just begun!!