A more drastic way to lose weight is difficult to imagine


Delighted to be back in England, now that spring is here! To continue where we left off last week. You may remember we had a lift loaded with boxes of illicit alcohol in Saudi Arabia, when two men, one a high ranking policeman and the other probably secret police in plain clothes, entered the lift behind us.

I simply couldn’t believe it. For a second I thought we were nicked. But we weren’t… Yet! ‘Which floor?’ I managed to gurgle, with a smile that probably appeared more akin to a lopsided grimace. ‘Four’, said one of the men. (In perfect English).


Thank the Lord for that, I thought.

They were going to the top floor, one above ours. ‘But don’t worry,’ he added. ‘We can give you a hand with these if you like’, pointing his long military style cane at the boxes. ‘Oh no, that’s fine’ I squeaked. ‘We’ll take you up first, and then come back down’.

I pressed the top button, and we began our pretty laborious ascent. It then got decidedly worse. While the two men were chatting, the uniform began casually hooking his cane under the flap of one of the boxes. Because they were not made for the job they were still unsealed. Merely folded down. At any moment one could quite easily have flipped up and revealed its contents. I glanced at TJ. The silly fixed grin on his face was almost hidden by the wide rivulets of sweat running down his ruddy cheeks. I knew how he felt. Mercifully the lids held.

When they alighted at the top floor and the doors closed behind them, we both expelled such a collective rush of air, I was actually worried the men may have heard us. ‘Jeezus’  gasped TJ, ‘I thought that was it , didn’t you?’ I agreed, it had indeed been much too close for comfort. Back on our own floor, we carried the boxes into the Sheik’s office. He was over in the corner with his head on the floor, praying. He glanced up and broke off his chanting just long enough to gesture us to put them down in the corner.

We delivered the rest with out mishap and when he had completed his prayers, collected our money and left. When we got back into the cab, TJ struggled out of his vest. He held it out of the window and literally rung water out of it. It was saturated in sweat. TJ always reckoned he lost two kilos that day. A more drastic way to lose weight is difficult to imagine.

So there you have it. Yet another narrow escape bites the dust. By the time you read this I shall be back with a number of good mates in the Manchester and Newcastle area. Including the wonderful band ‘Pontiac‘ now reformed. Sometimes it really is good to be. ‘On the road again’.

Keep the faith.

love Leapy.




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