Britannia waives the rules


MANY English people describe their nation as peace loving; surely they are in self-denial. Through conquest they created an empire upon which the sun never set; the French and Spanish navies had been swept from the oceans. In 1914 a Spithead bull terrier was tethered: On review the iron fist; the awesome power of 59 great battleships. Fast forward: Tony Blair was mocked as ‘Five Wars Tony.’

They say they love animals whilst eating them though in fairness the Royal Society for the Protection of Animals (RSPCA) was formed before the National Society for the Protection of Children (NSPCC).


Despite Friedrich Nietzsche’s claim that England was the Land of Consummate Most Englanders would take offence at being labelled hypocrites.

But then there was England’s response to its failed £15 million bid to host the 2018 World Cup. “We’ll never bid again to host the world cup, says Team England boss as Putin turns up to gloat over ‘mafia state’ Russia’s win.”

Gracious in defeat? Enger-land morphed into Angerland as English stalwarts throughout the realm accused the electoral panel of every infamy under the never setting sun.

The panel’s judges were dismissed as dodgy-dealers with skeletons rattling in their cupboards. There had to be a change in the voting process; presumably until they get it right. A humiliating snub; the bid failed to get past the first round; it attracted only two votes out of a possible twenty-two, one by an Englishman.

Like Queen Victoria, Andy Anson, who headed England’s campaign, was not amused. He accused the panel of operating a secretive ballot; there being too few panellists open to being influenced by Russia. Excuse me; was England the only applicant allowed to set its stall out?

Sports Minister Hugh Robertson accused the panel of ‘secret deals’. Russia was branded a ‘Mafia State’. That was a U.S. diplomat’s claim; a Wikipedia slur-leak the British Press was happy to give credence to.

Petulant Prime Minister David Cameron had a hissie fit and refused to congratulate the winners. This was hardly a prudent thing to do: Russia, the world’s biggest country, is an important trading partner tirelessly courted by Britain’s European business rivals. ‘Fifa’s controversial decisions reinforced the suspicion that the voting process was corrupt,’ screamed Britain’s most popular tabloid.

Edward Lucas from The Daily Mail described the Russian Federation as a country ‘ruled by crooks, thugs and spies; an unvarnished picture of colossal corruption and brutal lawlessness’.

This was pretty rich coming from a country whose parliamentarians have been making the headlines for all the wrong reasons; where the banks and utilities screw their customers until the pips squeak, a nation that has the highest crime rate in Europe.

A WikiLeaks leak was all of a sudden described as ‘worthy of the most fearless investigative journalist.’

This suggests a good time to give those old recruiting offices a bit of a lick and a polish.

After all it’s just not cricket, or should I say it’s just not football? They think it’s all over? It is now!

Picture Credit: Nagyman 


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