Welcome to Dogsville


A READER has the temerity to ask, why do we put dog charities before children’s charitable trusts? He is a very brave man and will likely end up in the doghouse. He must be barking mad to hold to account the Costas’ dog adoring community. Here there is ample evidence of the tail wagging the dog.

As I type I am painfully aware that I live next door to a dogs home. An evening stroller’s patrol has caused a community canine to start howling its hairy head off. There is an immediate uptake as the local hounds of hell are unleashed. It is bedlam out there; I can hardly think.



Someone fainted?

When out strolling recently I caught sight of a group of people gathered in a tightly knit circle. In deep debate their attention was focused on something on the pavement. My immediate concern was there had been an accident? Perhaps someone had a seizure or had fainted in the heat.

When I drew close I realised the reason for the excitement. They were welcoming a new dog to the neighbourhood. Their expressions were similar to those you used to hear when a mother was showing off her newborn baby. There was so much cooing that I might well have been passing a pigeon loft in the mating season.

Canine Thug

I appreciate my favourite newspaper but never more than when returning down the public highway with it clasped in my hand. As I neared a swanky villa a cat-sized ball of psychopathic fury vomited from the gate. It came at me like a missile and there was no doubting its intention to torment my ankles as a cat torments a mouse. Had it been a Rottweiler or a Pit Bull I would have been toast.

Instinctively I intercepted it with my newspaper’s anti-dog thwack. The canine thug, that had clearly never been disciplined, went arse over tit and squealing it scampered back through the gates. I hadn’t of course hurt the pint-sized brat but I had turned the tables. Others tell similar tales of canine bullying and harassment.

Real Dogs

The lapdog’s owners came rushing out and this idiot actually expected them to apologise for their dog’s unsociable behaviour. On the contrary they began to rebuke me and called me ‘a beast.’ Excuse me! I should have allowed their dog to savage my ankles whilst murmuring: “Naughty pooch”?

Like this correspondent I too am fond of animals but I like a sense of proportion too. It is time to suggest to the fawning dog community that they get a grip. My family was grounded in rural tranquillity; a community where real dogs are well trained, happier, better disciplined and better behaved than are many dog owners. They weren’t neurotic and they did know the difference between a threat and the commonplace. Such working dogs are a credit to the canine world. It is a pity the same cannot be said of irresponsible dog owners here on the Costas.

By Mike Walsh



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