You’re Fired!


Our attention was caught by the pub sign; the 2€ a pint was irresistible and we took our table. The three ‘pints’ when brought were less appealing; they were half pints. Drawing the server’s attention to the ‘error’ we were told curtly: “They are pints; they are OUR pints!”

How many businesses do you no longer visit because of poor service? I know of a lovely restaurant, which even at peak times has few clients, yet the owner’s advertising can’t be faulted.


He had few clients because the word had got around about his staff’s surly attitude towards diners. As fast as he was writing out cheques to entice clients his staff was driving them away with their offensive approach.

Has it occurred to the manager to offer a free meal to a ‘mystery shopper’; to afterwards report back on their experience? The revelation and quick action would have plugged the haemorrhage of unhappy customers.

Speaking Volumes

My car radio being faulty I visited a specialist workshop. As I explained the problem the expression on the counter assistant’s face was that of utter boredom. “What kind is it?” he asks. “It’s the black Mazda 626,” say I, thinking foolishly he will venture out to check it.

Gazing at me in utter contempt as he drummed his fingers on the counter, he clearly thought some village was looking for its idiot. “No,” he mouths: “What kind of radio is it?”

Don’t ask me why I didn’t haul him over the counter and give him a Glasgow kiss: I can’t believe I didn’t.

You’ve Been Burgered

These experiences are not isolated incidents. Relate a similar occurrence when next chatting to friends. Listen to their stories and you will realise that poor service is widespread.

A friend tells me of a father ordering a cheeseburger for his son. The grilled burger slapped on the bun was followed by a cold slice of cheese.

Politely dad asks if the cheese could be heated too. The assistant looked at the lad’s father with utter disdain, turned on his heel and stage whispered: “This guy thinks he’s in the f***** Ritz.”

A drinker in a local bar orders a pint of San Miguel. On being told the draught is off he says he will have a bottle. As it is being poured, he suggests he make it two bottles and is then charged six euros; it being three euros a bottle. Querying the price the manager simply shrugged.

Watch my lips, business owners. Invite a friend to visit your business and report back. You may be horrified at what you hear. If so train the staff up and be prepared to sack the indolent. If the report’s good then wine and dine them for you can’t put a price on a good service.

By Mike Walsh


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